Well today is day 5 of my sobriety. I'm really proud of myself. I feel like crap, but I'm still proud. All I want to do right now is nap, nap, nap, then nap some more...but I'm trying to get stuff done. A little at a time for now is good for me. I really wish I knew why I felt like this. I'm pretty sure its not withdrawal, but who the heck knows. Hopefully it goes away soon and I can get back to feeling awesome. I haven't really gotten any exercise in, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm trying to eat sensibly and that's good enough for me (for now). When we can get the damn dogs to stop eating the fence, I'm going to start walking again, but having to check on them every 10 minutes is making it impossible right now! They are my biggest source of stress. GRRR.
Onto worry #2. I cant really speak for Trent, but I feel like maybe I'm forgetting about him in all this process. Or that maybe he thinks I'm getting in too deep, too quick. I know he supports me, but I really need to learn to balance my meetings and spending what little time I have with him. That of course means making sure my meetings are done before he gets here. Waking up early is so not an option for me right now though. I feel like I really need to catch up on my sleep before I start a steady schedule. Hopefully I figure out a healthy solution soon, sounds like I need to have a talk with my HP.
Things not so worrisome...I'm going to jump back into my hobbies. I love taking pictures and editing them, doing hands on d.i.y. projects, and making jewelry. Maybe I can combine them all into one big project, ha ha, sounds interesting. I'm sure I can come up with something. I can usually get Trent to help sometimes, so maybe I can come up with something for this weekend that we can do together instead of drinking. Maybe just going to the lake and taking some pictures. A picnic sounds good too! If not I definitely have some ideas on mind for myself. I want to make some encouraging bracelets for myself and maybe do some painting. I also want to make Whiskey (my doggy) a little name tag for his kennel. All I need is for Trent to cut me a piece of scrap metal at his job. There is also a mirror of my grandmas that is super aged and I want to spice it up and find a place for it in the living room. Sounds like a busy weekend, well more so Saturday, since Sunday will be football day. Kinda excited :)
 |
| Zee lake <3 I took and edited this picture on mine and Trent's 7 year anniversary :) |
Anyhow that's about all for now, I'm totally in space-cadet mode right now and can't keep one thought separate from another.
Busy hands and sober thoughts, Rachel
Hey.. Just remember, You have to be sober for you. Trent may have to sacrifice a little bit of time for you to better yourself. You can't really, give him the full you if you're struggling with what you're going through ya know? I'm suuure he understands too. 8 years is a long time to be with someone. If he has to miss 30 mins with you, or even an hour, it'll be worth it in the end. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Steph. I believe Trent would absolutely understand and give you the space and time you need. It's been a year and 3 months now though. How is everything going? Being sober doesn't change whatever challenges lay ahead of you, but it makes you better in handling them. Going back to photography isn't a bad idea, by the way. I wish you all of the best! :)
ReplyDeleteDinah Gerdts